Preparing for marriage! Where to begin? How does one REALLY prepare to get married? How do you know you are ready?

            These are questions that many of us think about, especially as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Our loving Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for all of us, His children. His plan is for us to be happy, not only in this life, but for eternity.

            In John Van Epp’s book titled, “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk”, he gives three categories that we should all be aware of when dating someone and perhaps thinking about getting married. He talks about togetherness, as in sharing experiences together and making memories, talking to one another, as in going on meaningful dates where you can really talk about goals and plans, and the third and final category is time, spending enough time together to get to know how they react in certain situations or how their mood changes with the seasons. These are all great recommendations and a good place to start when thinking about becoming involved in a serious relationship with someone.

            Compatibility is another thing that is important while searching for a companion. There needs to be a healthy balance in every relationship. I agree with the idea that opposites attract to an extent. My husband and I are very different, but there is healthy balance between the things between us that are opposite along with the things that are compatible between us.

            Elder Oaks taught quite a few years ago about the three p’s of dating. Planning the date, Paying for the date, and being specifically Paired off with a date. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, the roles of mothers and fathers are given. For the husbands and fathers, their role to the Preside, Provide, and Protect. We talked about the correlation between the first three p’s given by Elder Oaks and the three p’s which are found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

            Before explaining the correlation, I want to clarify that typically it is the guy who asks the girl on the date and that is who and what this comparison or correlation is specifically geared toward or focused on.

            PLANNED—PRESIDE

When a young man is planning a date with a young lady, he is practicing presiding. In a sense, he is ‘in charge’. He takes care of the plans the agenda and what not. In the home, as a priesthood holder, the husband and father is to preside over the family. One of his many roles is to gather the family for scripture study and prayer and family home evening. When planning a date, you need to gather your date and make sure that she is on board with what you have in mind.

            PAID FOR—PROVIDE

When a young man asks a young lady on a date, he needs to be aware of the fact that it is his duty to pay for the meal or dessert or to gather the necessary materials for the date. Providing does not always mean just money. When a husband and father provides, he provides a comfortable space for his family to live in. Although this does involve being the primary provider of money, he, along with his wife, also needs to provide and environment where the spirit can reside. Providing is such an important role that fathers have and they practice this as they provide what is needed for a date to be successful.

            PAIRED OFF—PROTECT

To be paired off is to have asked a specific out on a date to go do something rather than hanging out with a group. When on a date, your date relies on you to be protective, whether that means removing yourselves from an inappropriate movie, changing the subject of from a controversial topic, and just making your date feel comfortable around you. When a man gets married, he is expected to protect. Not only his wife and family and their home, but the marriage relationship as well. They provide more than physical protection, but spiritual and emotional protection as well.

            It is hard to know when you are really ready to get married. It is dependent on so much. With school and family and emotional stability and time and place. There is so much to consider. The timing of what is right or wrong is different for everyone and with the help of the spirit, along with faith in Heavenly Father’s plan, there will be a right time.

            I am so grateful for Heavenly Father’s plan for me and I am thankful for the examples that I have in my life from my father and brother and husband.